How to talk to your son The most difficult questions. Valeria Fadeeva

From the author
Hello dear parents!
Your son is growing, his body and character are changing, and day after day, year after year, he has more and more questions that he wants to get an honest answer from you. Among them, there are those that make you feel embarrassed, lost, or simply baffled.
Adolescence is a difficult time, the boundary between childhood and adulthood. Starting at age 12 (maybe a little earlier or a little later), your son will have a wonderful time of transformation - from a boy to a man. His whole body will change: his voice, skin, smell will become different. He will become strong and agile. Perhaps in a few years, when he looks at his photograph, where he is seven or eight years old, and then at the one where he is nineteen or twenty, he most likely does not recognize himself.
Now this magical transformation is just beginning. Some changes will cause your son joy and delight, others - bewilderment, anxiety and even anger. Be prepared for this. All this is normal. All boys go through this.
Therefore, it is so important that your son trust you and be sure that you will always support him and tell him everything that he wants to know.
The more information about what is happening to him, he will own, the better he will be protected from mistakes and misunderstanding of what is happening and the more confident and happier he will be. After all, as you know, he who is warned is armed.
From this book you will learn what puberty is and how it goes, how your son will grow and how his figure will become masculine, what to do to move beautifully and have the right posture, how to eat right for a teenage boy, what to do if your son considers himself "dead" or "fat", why his voice "breaks", why hair appears under the armpits and on the chin and what to do with it ...
In the chapter "Your attractiveness and health" you will find information about what male beauty is, how to love your body and become attractive, what hygiene is (including intimate hygiene), how to deal with the unpleasant smell of sweat, how to take care of your skin, hands, hair, is it worth getting piercings and tattoos, how to choose clothes, shoes and underwear, how to take care of your men's health, what kind of men's doctors exist and when you need them contact about sexually transmitted diseases.
And finally, the chapter "Big Boy Secrets"! It contains perhaps the most "burning" questions that may concern your son. Here are some of them: how my genitals are arranged, what are nocturnal emissions, is it harmful to make love to myself, how to understand that I have fallen in love, what is the difference between love and love, what is intimate relationships, why kissing is useful, what is "teen sex”, are there any laws about when you can make love, what are contraceptives, how to find out if my girlfriend is pregnant.

In addition, I have added useful information about teenage girls so that your son can better understand them and successfully communicate with them.
So in this book you will find answers to many of the most important questions your growing son can ask you.
You can start a conversation with him on any of these topics when you see fit.
I wish you and your son mutual understanding, joy and amazing success! Be happy!
Valeria Fadeeva

Fantastic change in appearance
Why am I being called a teenager?
This is interesting!
I want to tell you about an ancient custom that survives today only in a few places - among the Indians of North America, among the Bushmen of Africa and among the tribes of Oceania (and maybe somewhere else). This was called initiation, or initiation.

As soon as the boys of the tribe reached a certain age, they were taken to the forest. There they lived in a hut and, under the guidance of an experienced mentor, learned the art of owning weapons for hunting and protecting the tribe, comprehended ancient traditions, adopted knowledge about the origin of the world and man. Great idea, right? But the ritual didn't end there. Adolescents had to survive the initiatory death, in order to be “born” again later, but in a new capacity. We are talking about cruel ritual torture, in which the boys were severely beaten, they were circumcised, their teeth were pulled out, their fingers were cut off, they were forced to starve and buried in the ground ...

All these torments symbolized death and resurrection. After the ceremony, the boys were given new names, and only then came the most pleasant part of the initiation - the holiday. On it, the tribe welcomed its new members and treated them like adults. men.

The age in which you are now is called differently: adolescence, transitional, difficult, adolescent. Let's see why. From the word itself it is clear that a teenager is a “growing person”.

In Dahl's dictionary, a teenager is defined as a "child in the teens", about 14-15 years old. The Old Russian word "lad" meant both a child, a teenager, and a young man. The word "lad" comes from the words "from" and "river", that is, literally "having no right to speak." Hence the name of the age - adolescence.

Perhaps you yourself feel that you are no longer a child, but not yet an adult. Every day you get older: your appearance, interests change, you can even say that you make a kind of transition from one state to another. Therefore, this time was called the transitional age.

This life period is considered difficult because of the changes that occur with boys during adolescence. Some of them, who used to be calm and friendly, suddenly become quick-tempered and aggressive. They constantly argue with everyone and are dissatisfied with everything.

But things can be different, because all people are different. Some change dramatically during the transition from childhood to adolescence, while others do not. For some, the time passes quietly, while for others it is not very smooth.

All boys go through puberty at different times. That is why it is impossible to say exactly when it starts and when it ends.

Teachers divide the transitional period into adolescence (10-15-16 years old) and youthful (15-16-18 years old). Doctors call adolescence and adolescence the word "puberty" (from the Latin pubis - "pubis"), that is, the period of puberty, since at this time pubic hair appears. These changes in girls and boys take place at slightly different times: in girls from 9–10 to 18 years old, in boys from 11–12 to 19 years old.

What is called puberty?
It is important!
During adolescence, puberty occurs. This is the name of the changes in the human body, as a result of which it can continue the race.

This is interesting!

In America, teenagers - boys and girls aged 13 to 19 years old are called "teenagers" (English teen is a common postfix of English numerals from 13 to 19, age is "age"). World Health Organization, or WHO (remember this word, you will meet it more than once), teenagers counts people between the ages of 10 and 20.

Preparation for the possibility of procreation affects not only the reproductive system: all organs and systems of the body are rebuilt: respiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, nervous and endocrine. And so they start working differently. The transformation of a boy into an adult man takes several years. Within a year or two after the onset of puberty (at 14-16 years old), the boy physically matures so much that he can have his own children! But that's only physically. It is unlikely that he can be considered an adult. A man becomes mature when he is able not only to conceive a child, but also to create all the necessary conditions for his upbringing. Therefore, do not rush to become a father and husband.

THIS IS THE LAW!

Family Code of the Russian Federation. Article 13:

1. The age of marriage is set at eighteen.

2. If there are good reasons, the local self-government bodies at the place of residence of persons wishing to enter into marriage are entitled, at the request of these persons, to allow persons who have reached the age of sixteen years to enter into marriage.

The procedure and conditions under which entry into marriage as an exception, taking into account special circumstances, may be permitted before the age of sixteen, may be established by the laws of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation.

What will happen to me during puberty?
First of all, at puberty, you will begin to grow rapidly. And this means that the process has begun! First, the head, feet and palms increase. They are the first to become the same as in an adult male. Then the arms and legs are extended. But the body grows last. Because of this, teenage boys look a little strange. They have a short torso, too long arms and legs, and huge hands and feet.

Around the age of 11 or 12, you will notice that your scrotum has grown. These changes are due to the growth of the testicles. Then, after about a year, you may find that your mammary glands are swollen. Do not worry, everything is in order: this is how the “female” hormones “work” - estrogens (they are present in both the female and the male body). At the same time, your penis will begin to noticeably increase in length, the skin on it will become darker. And you still have to survive the loss of voice. Not very nice. Just imagine: first you speak in a