Smart women don't sleep alone, or how to hit the jackpot in your personal life. Tatyana Andreevna Shishkina

A small but important introduction
I kept asking myself a lot of questions.

Why some men do not need to do anything to capture the heart of a woman, while others need to try. Stubbornly, for a long time ... and so often hopelessly.

Or otherwise.

Why do feelings flare up for some men and quickly go out, while for others they flare up for a long time and live, live.

Why some men are ready to cross the world for the sake of their beloved. Unleash a war. Fight to the death. And others meekly wait for love to descend.

Why do some people suffer heartbreak for years, while others quickly find solace elsewhere?

I never cease to explore the female soul. I never stop studying men. I never cease to be amazed at the versatility of relationships.

My work allows me to observe what is happening. Live in it. Dive.

My life allowed me to become a participant in the very process of life. I was the beloved woman of more than one man and I myself loved more than one man ...

And even being in love with them, I watched their behavior. Their habits. Their thoughts.

Perhaps I am one of the few women who seriously approached the choice of a husband. Yes, I chose. Even went over. I ate. I let you love.

Working now as a psychologist, I see how many women and men do not see each other. They sit opposite, look, but do not see. It hurts me when people are in too much of a hurry to make a choice. Sometimes the most important choice of your life.

In this book, I will talk about serious things with humor.

If you are ready to dive into the deep world of men, study their habits, start reading them “between” the lines, not wasting time on the unworthy and knowing how to find the key to their heart, then you need this book.

About men and princes
Men have never been dangerous to me. I wasn't afraid of them. Don't be afraid to get into a relationship. Didn't look back. I knew only one thing: the best is yet to come.

The biggest discovery I made for myself as a very young girl:

men want to love.
When I became a blooming young girl, I realized:

almost any man
you can fall in love with yourself.
When I got married, the realization came:

a man is also a man.
When my son was born, I felt:

how defenseless
may be a man.
When I became a psychologist made sure:

How important is support for men?
Yes, it's hard for men too. So many things fall on their shoulders. On the shoulders of ordinary people who are proudly called "men".

I'm not going to urge you to love all men, feel sorry for alcoholics and warm the homeless in the hope that a handsome prince will grow out of them. I just want to introduce you to this amazing world of men who live among us.

Attention!
The book may contain revelations that should not be read by persons under northern age.

You shouldn't show it to your husbands, in particular to mine. :) Even though he has a strong psyche.

The names of real heroes and some events are fictitious to keep their lives calm. :)

Exercise
Imagine such a situation.

You need to choose a dress. And not just a dress, but an outfit for all occasions, hiding your flaws and emphasizing your dignity, a thing “without a price”. In it you need to go to the ball, and to work. It should not be too strict and not too frank. Preferably not black.

Write what you will pay attention to when choosing such a dress? Imagine everything in detail.

Take your time!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Now imagine what kind of man you want to see next to you?

1.

2.

3.

4.

And stop. Listen to yourself.

I'm sure you're thinking about the dress again now.

This often happens in life: we choose a dress longer and more carefully than a companion. Surely you devoted not 5 seconds to this exercise, but seriously thought about the perfect outfit. We sorted out colors, styles, details.

Now imagine that you choose a man. Which, by the way, should also be able to tolerate your shortcomings, see your virtues. To be with you every day and somehow maneuver in your changing mood.

Let's get serious about choosing or "ordering" a man. I'm sure each of us once wrote this wonderful list. Take it, or better yet, write it right in this book:

__________

__________

__________

Great, now fill out the form.

Reader Questionnaire
When you meet a man, what do you pay attention to first of all? Arrange the options in descending order of importance: most important, important, least important, and so on.

1. How is he dressed.

2. What are his hands and shoes.

3. What and how he eats.

4. What he says about himself.

5. How he communicates with others.

6. How he treats me.

7. What does he say to me.

8. How much does he tip.

9. What does he say about parents.

What is the most important thing for you in a relationship with a man?

__________

__________

__________

Do you think it is possible to change a man?

__________

__________

__________

If it can be changed, what are the best ways?

__________

__________

__________

By what criteria do you evaluate what kind of person is in front of you? Write down the 3 most important points.

1.

2.

3.

Can you connect your fate with a man "with a past" (divorced, with children)?

__________

__________

What kind of relationship do you think you should have with your ex-wife so that they do not interfere with your romance? (Underline whatever applicable.)

1. The worse, the better.

2. Friendly, warm.

3. Business - formal.

What topics (questions) on dates do you consider important to bring up?

__________

__________

__________

Why do you think some men need girlfriends?

__________

__________

__________

Write 3 signs by which you can recognize a tyrant man.

1.

2.

3.

Write 3 signs by which you can recognize a pick-up artist or ladies' man.

1.

2.

3.

Which men should be avoided?

__________

__________

__________

Is it possible to understand on first dates that you are a greedy person? If possible, how?

__________

__________

__________

Where will you start the path to the heart of a man who does not want a serious relationship?

__________

__________

__________

Write 10 points that are most important to you in a man and relationships with him.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

What disadvantages are you willing to accept?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Leave the answers for now. We will return to them at the end of the book.

Important!
In the process of reading a book, do not make changes to your profile! Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to track the results.

Why are men disappointed in women?
The more often I, as a psychologist, encounter problems in relationships, the more I understand where all these problems come from.

Before I started writing the chapter, an anecdote caught my eye:

Wife to husband:

- Sasha, why are you always angry?

- Yes, because I'm Vitalik!

And I might have passed by this phrase, if not for the consultation that took place the day before.

The man was talking about his wife, the relationship with which had long since ceased to exist. He talked about the fact that she rereads him in everything, arranges scenes of jealousy out of the blue and has a violent temper.

I asked her, has she always been like this?

He, after thinking, answered: “Yes, but at first it was well encrypted!”

I do not argue that at first we are trying to show each other only our positive qualities, to turn into the most beautiful and attractive side and demonstrate the best version of ourselves.

But, believe me, a lot can be said about a person by talking to him for the first few months. Again, we want to be in a relationship so much that we are in too much of a hurry to make that choice. An important choice. Partner choice.

According to statistics, out of 100 surveyed couples who have been married for more than five years, only 20% are sure that they did not make a mistake in choosing a partner! Only 20%!!!

Think about this number.

Of the 80% of unhappy families, more than half are not going to change anything in their lives. They justify their relationship with many things: children, mortgages, habits, and so on.

And when I gave a simple exercise - to imagine that they are 70 years old and for the last 40 years their personal life has passed in the same mode as the last year - almost everyone clutched their heads and said: “Oh horror! It's best not to think about it."

And it's fine if you don't have to think.

In my last book, “I am the #most desired #most happy!” there was an exercise where you wrote reasons or reasons why you should get married or start a family. And I showed what a huge difference between the female gaze and the male.

Of course, there is no escape from responsibility and obligations in a relationship. Sometimes they weigh down. They burden us so that we are no longer able to see the personalities behind them.

One of the most important mistakes of a woman is the love of idealization. If we meet with a lack of a man, then at first we ignore it. Then we try to correct it, change it, redo it. Anything, but do not accept.

And whenever we encounter a real (living person with shortcomings) by a man, we do not understand what to do with him.

In the process of courtship or in the candy-bouquet period, we also do not always see the true face of a person.

Exercise
There is a certain Peter. He is 43 years old. Peter has been married for a long time, but relations with his wife have cooled down. He is looking for hobbies on the side, because family life has become unbearable, boring and dreary. He lives because of the children who keep