about your love to an adult, you do not use exaggerated manifestations of your feelings, you just say: "I love you", hug, kiss him. Thatчно также следует проявлять свои эмоции и по отношению к ребенку.

The perception of oneself as loved, freed from excessive control and protection, forms in the child an interest in knowing the world, self-confidence and the conviction that he is worthy of love. This первое условие, необходимое для формирования уверенности в себе у взрослого человека.

ШАГ SECOND - ДЕМОНСТРАЦИЯ

SECOND ШАГ на пути к формированию у детей уверенности в себе - это демонстрация уверенности родителей.

Дети - самые талантливые актеры и подражатели. No wonder it is so difficult for professional artists to film with children. They can copy any behavior of their parents and even make some kind of parental quality their internal property. But in order to copy something in the behavior or attitude towards life from the parents, the child must see it. How can you show your child your confidence? First of all, it is manifested in appearance: posture, look, smile, relaxation, voice.

Первый невербальный и самый очевидный признак, который говорит об уверенности в себе - это осанка: расправленные плечи, поднятая голова, легкая и непринужденная походка.

Do you think that bad posture is not a hindrance to self-confidence? Thatгда попробуйте опустить голову, ссутулить плечи и ходить, согнув ноги в коленях маленькими шажками. Stay in this position for about forty minutes, and then try to defend your point of view in front of some unfriendly person of a dangerous appearance.

Always look people straight in the eye, don't look away. In our culture, for some reason, people shy away from making eye contact. Но это не признак вежливости - это банальный страх. Therefore, it is worth learning to look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor yourself and teach your children the same. Children initially look directly into the eyes, look carefully and studying. Adults themselves later teach them to look away from the interlocutor's face, using the incomprehensible logic "not good", "indecent".

Smile more often. Улыбка - это признак победителя, а уверенный в себе человек - уже победитель.

Be relaxed, at least with your children, and don't forget to relax your face as you do so. Напряженность - это признак ожидания нападения и всегда неуверенность - ударят или нет? And if so, where and from where? Eyebrows brought together will show others that something is wrong, but a confident person is fine.

Speak smoothly, separating words with logical pauses. Avoid transitions to shouting and threats. Крик - явный признак того, что ситуация вышла из-под вашего контроля и вы не знаете что делать. Крик - свидетельство беспомощности и психологической слабости. The one who has exhausted other methods of influence always starts screaming. Крик, как и физическое насилие - признак слабости.

By following these simple recommendations, you will be able to demonstrate self-confidence even when you lack it. When a child sees your behavior, he, consciously or not, will begin to copy it. And the behavior that the child can repeat he can easily make his own.

For example, I do not believe that standing cross-legged is a biologically determined behavior that is transmitted genetically. That есть человек ему учится, наблюдая за кем-то другим. I myself stand like this quite often, especially when there is an opportunity to lean against something additionally. And I was very surprised to find that in a year and a month my eldest daughter began to stand, leaning on the sofa and cross-legged.

So, if you show your child from early childhood how a confident person behaves, then the child will make your behavior his own and will be able not only to behave like a confident person, but will really be self-confident.

ШАГ THIRD - ПОДДЕРЖКА

THIRD ШАГ в воспитании уверенности в себе у детей кроется в уверенности родителей в силах и способностях детей.

It is the faith of significant adults that will give strength to the child, especially in the initial stages of building self-confidence.

Very often, it is someone's support and faith in our own strengths that help us decide on some step, give us confidence and strength to accomplish an important deed.

Personally, I got the education that I wanted, solely because of my father's faith in my strength. It was his support that gave me confidence and made me go to the end.

Когда я поступал в университет, то на специальность "психология" был достаточно высокий конкурс - 5,25 человек на место. And if we subtract all those who entered out of competition and had the so-called "rural score", then it worked and all 7.

I did not go to any courses and believed that school knowledge would be quite enough for me to enter the university on my own. As expected, I scored very low on my first exam. With my four on a ten-point system, I had nothing to count on. There were three more exams ahead of me, and I was no longer so sure of my admission. I decided to pick up the documents and use the free time to prepare for exams at another, less prestigious university. But I wanted to learn exactly in this !!!

Я позвонил домой и сказал, то собираюсь забирать докуменYou. My father listened to me carefully and asked: "How many people did not pass the exam at all?" I replied that about thirty. Considering that about 120 people may not reach the end of the entrance exams at such a pace, the father said:

- Попробуй еще. Are you unable to be the best of five?

- Не знаю, - ответил я.

- Сколько человек сдало хуже тебя?

- Около двадцати - сказал я.

- Значит, ты сейчас обошел в общей сложности пятьдесят человек и хочешь забрать документы? Less than half of all those who applied will make it to the end of the exams, and you will only need to be the best of five people. Try. Anyway, you will know that you did it. And psychologists are getting fewer guys than girls. Maybe that will play a role too. Come on, I believe in you. And you can always pick up the documents.

Следующие три экзамена я сдал не на много лучше первого и после каждого из них звонил домой и говорил о своем намерении забрать докуменYou. Each time, my father told me that he believed in me and encouraged me for the next surrender.

As a result, at the general meeting, after all the exams, 70 applicants gathered for 20 budget places. I did not consider the opportunity to receive education for a fee, although I did not ask my parents' opinion on this matter. At this meeting, applicants were told that a military faculty with a specialization in "military psychology" was opening this year, and all training for future military psychologists would take place together with civilian psychologists at the same faculty according to the same program. But, since the faculty was opened already at the time of accepting documents, practically no one knew about it, so there are free places for enrolling young men. I seized this opportunity and was soon enrolled in the military faculty. But, even there, I had the lowest score in the exam results. I thought that among all those with whom I will study, I will be the most "stupid". But, the faith of my parents in my abilities and my own self-confidence allowed me to graduate from the university with a diploma with honors. I became the best graduate of my class.

And where would I be if it were not for faith in my strength and support from my father? After the first exam, I would have taken the documents and would not try myself in further tests. This только частный случай, но даже он весьма показателен.

For того чтобы вырастить уверенного в себе ребенка нужно напоминать ему о том, что вы уверенны в нем. Provide support in case of failure and teach to see the prospects and consequences of their actions.

Воспитание - это процесс, во время которого какие-то внешние качества и особенности поведения становятся внутренними. For того чтобы уверенность стала внутренним качеством вашего ребенка, первоначально она должна быть качеством внешним, на которое вы и будете ему указывать.

Self-confidence is not just an internal quality that is autonomous and self-sufficient. It must be based on some concrete facts. Therefore, initially showing the child that you believe in him and are sure that he will succeed, do not forget to explain to him what your confidence is based on. This могут быть доводы, основанные на анализе сложившейся ситуации. Or citing as an example cases of successful performance of any actions by your child, through which important internal qualities will be manifested (ingenuity, prudence, intelligence, physical data, manifestation of character).

A logical explanation of your confidence in your own child will be more effective than emotional, but groundless exhortations that he is the best.

The child should not lie, saying that he is the best, because a meeting with the harsh reality can not only undermine his self-confidence, but also undermine the credibility of your words.

However, it is necessary to properly encourage the child. Reasoned praise and faith in his abilities will not only give your child strength, but also motivate him to develop certain qualities. Even if the child does not stand out among peers, or frankly loses to them in comparison, you can always compare him with himself, but some time ago. After all, in relation to himself, he certainly became better in something.

In general, I would not recommend parents in principle to compare their child with other children, strangers or their own. An unsuccessful comparison, incorrectly chosen words, an incorrect definition of the driving motive (focused on rivalry) can lead to a complete breakdown and the