or later, out of the role played by the parent, his true personality will emerge. The child, having seen who his ideal father or ideal mother really is, will understand that they, too, can make mistakes, be biased, unrestrained and cannot know everything in the world.

I have not met ideal people in my life, so is it worth trying to play the role of "ideal" in front of your child?

Thatчно так же, как не бывает идеальных людей, так же не может быть и идеальных родителей. And yet, there are good moms and dads. And they are good not because they are free from shortcomings, but because they know how to recognize them and also because they show themselves to their children as they really are, and do not present them with an idea of ​​the role of ideal mom and dad.

Their goodness and authenticity are presented to children through communication and through demonstrating themselves with their shortcomings and peculiarities, with the ability to listen and just be there. The fact that dad and mom share their experiences with their children, experiences that children do not yet have, but which can help make the right decision. Accept yourself, and not obey the order of the parents. And if you do listen, then listen to advice, but not an opinion that is not subject to discussion simply because it was not so ideal "perfect dad" or "perfect mom".

When I grew up, I was somewhat surprised to find that not all parents give their children the opportunity to make their own choices, the opportunity to show their independence and responsibility: those opportunities that my parents gave me in abundance and which I myself strive to give to my children.

My own father had a huge influence on my development and on the formation as a person, personality, husband and father. Unfortunately, he died when I was barely 19, so he could not see my wife or my children. Thatлько после его смерти я понял, насколько сильно он повлиял на мое развитие и становление, начиная от отношения к жизни и заканчивая тем, как будут распределяться деньги уже в моей собственной семье, а в особенности, на мое отношение к мужскому поведению и мужской и не men's work (which is not).
Despite all this and the fact that he has not been in my life for quite a long time, I cannot say that he was an ideal father and, especially since he was an ideal person. But he was real for sure.

He did not always keep his word, but honestly tried to keep it, or just as honestly admitted that he could not keep it. So, например, он пообещал моей маме, что бросит курить, когда она родит ему сына. I was born but, as far as I can remember, I can not remember the period when he did not smoke.
He didn't have perfect manners, and it always annoyed me when he slurped or drank his coffee loudly. I always felt when he stood behind me and I didn't like it either. He seemed to be able to sleep even standing up, and it was always difficult to send him to bed when he fell asleep on the couch. He didn't pay much attention to how he dressed, and I often wished my father looked better. He was not strong and did not have outstanding musculature. It was difficult for him to perceive criticism and the opinion of other people on those issues in which he considered himself an expert, and it seems that I adopted this trait of his. His best friend was my mother, and by nature he was a homebody and it seems that these qualities are also formed in me thanks to my father. У меня, как и у него один лучший друг - моя жена и я тоже не очень люблю выбираться в шумные и малознакомые компании.
My father had many faults, and I am well aware that they were, and he was not "perfect". But, at the same time, I understand that he had a number of virtues: he was неприхотлив в еде и вообще в желаниях, умел получать радость от мелочей, которые и создают общую радость жизни - почитать книгу, поспать, посидеть на берегу озера с удочкой, просто ничего не делать - это ведь уже не мало. He knew how to listen to people without imposing his opinion and knew how to argue his thoughts, taught us the same. He also loved us, loved his children, and we felt this unobtrusive male love. In addition to all this, my father knew how to dream and not give up on his dreams, and he taught me the same thing: to dream and believe in yourself, to know that everything is possible and not stop trying.
All my life I have known my father as "Dad". We talked about something with him, I learned something from him. But as a person, as a person, I began to recognize him shortly before his death. And there was no difference between my dad and my father as a person. In education, biography is not the main thing.

It is important that parents show their children who they are, with their real attitude and behavior, with their pluses and minuses, show not the "ideal picture", but the real themselves.
Being a good dad or mom is not that hard. You just have to be yourself and show your kids what it's like. If вы хотите, чтобы ваши дети были лучше, чем вы, нужно просто каждый день самим становится немножечко лучше.
For того чтобы быть хорошим отцом нужно любить своих детей и на своем собственном примере показывать им свое отношение к себе самим, своим детям, воспитанию и жизни в целом.
Любовь - это отношение. Demonstrate your love and your attitude to your children, and the rest will take care of itself. Just be yourself, all the brightest and all the most necessary children will remember themselves.

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