Pregnant dad, or My wife is expecting a baby. Ron Schultz, Sam Schultz

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
For their help in preparing this book, we thank Dr. Stefan W. Lieb, Tara Fellner, Laura Zanderford, Marvin Klotz, Peggy Aylesworth, Christy Romero, all the staff at Meadowbrook Press, and especially Bruce Lansky, who knows best what it has cost us. Special thanks to all the pregnant women and their husbands for being so willing to share their sincere and deeply personal experiences with us, telling many entertaining and extremely instructive stories about the period of their life when they carried their children.
This book is dedicated to all men
world preparing to become fathers.
We wish you to know the joy
brought to us by our children.
INTRODUCTION
So she is pregnant. Congratulations! Soon a baby, a toddler, an undisputed heir (or heiress) will appear in the house. Welcome to our young dads club! Now you have a full nine (or a little less) months to turn from a free person, which you have been until now, to turn into a caring, loving and responsible father of the family. Don't worry - you'll be fine. Moreover, following our advice, you will make life easier not only for yourself, but also for your wife.

You will ask why? Yes, because in the book "Pregnant dad, or My wife is expecting a baby" we will talk about relationships and feelings, and not fill your head with medical information. It was not our intention to describe the clinical picture of pregnancy, however, we tried to talk about the dangers that you may have to face, so here you will find a lot of useful information that we received from pediatricians, obstetricians, gynecologists and psychologists and outlined in the most simple and accessible language.

We've also included interviews, research, and advice based on our personal experience. All of them are devoted to the same topic - what changes in a man's life after his wife discovers that she is pregnant, and how he should act in this situation. We asked this question to doctors and lawyers, mothers-in-law and mothers-in-law, family psychologists and pregnant women, and even children who remembered well what happened in the house before their brothers and sisters were born. Their answers are also included in this book.

It must be admitted that much of what we will say here, future fathers often come intuitively. Therefore, it is possible that this book will simply help you listen to yourself and understand what you already know at some level. In addition, you will find your much-needed participation and support, as well as rules of conduct, useful tips, warnings, gentle words for the woman you love, and much other important and useful information.

And the last. Perhaps, from the point of view of specialists, our book is not ideal. But we do not claim this. We speak from the position of the most ordinary people, "pregnant" fathers who cherished and cherished their wives in moments of joy and sadness (and there were many of those, and others, believe me). We understand that it is not easy for a woman to endure such a serious test as pregnancy alone, and we know how to help her go through this path.

HOW TO KEEP AND CHECK YOUR PREGNANT WIFE

A beloved woman who is in a “position” is not enough just to hug and kiss - she needs something more, she deserves it, and only you can give it to her. To "cherish and cherish" means to be considerate, to show your concern for her in small things, for example, accompanying her to medical examinations (not every time, but from time to time). To “cherish and cherish” means to support, in particular, to listen carefully to her when she is frightened by something or simply needs your attention. “To cherish and cherish” means, first of all, to love her, to strengthen the connection that exists between you in this world.

And now - forward, into battle! And remember: First, your wife cannot become more pregnant than she already is. And secondly: your courtesy, support and love cannot be too much.

To make it easier for you to share the worries of your wife, first come to terms with the fact that, despite all the physiological laws and forces of Nature, you are also pregnant! Before expressing your doubts about this, consider: have modern fathers become more attentive and caring? Steel. Do they treat their pregnant wives with great understanding and sympathy? Relate. Do they want to be involved in everything related to pregnancy? They want. And if you're going through the same thing your wife is going through, then you're pregnant too! So? So!

Just don't panic. Don't rush into a defensive position. You are not alone: ​​according to the agency Britannica World Data, this year alone there will be almost 30 million "pregnant" fathers in India, 19 million in China, 6 million in the former Soviet Union, and 4 million dads in the US. Worldwide, more than 145 million men will become "pregnant" - more than the number of football, basketball, baseball, tennis, pool, rugby, cricket and golf players combined (well, maybe without golfers). To give you a better idea of ​​how many men find themselves in an “interesting position” every day, it will suffice to say that every four seconds, somewhere in the world, a woman gives birth to a child.

All this, however, does not make your pregnancy any less unique, because it can very well be a very special, joyful period in the life of your family - but only if you yourself want it.

On the pages of this book, we will consider the specifics of the relationship between a man and a woman in each trimester of pregnancy (trimesters are the basic periods of pregnancy lasting three months each). When you were about to get married, did you know that this step would require some internal changes from you? Well, get ready for new changes in yourself. This does not mean that you will not enjoy being pregnant with your wife. 99.6 percent of the "pregnant" fathers we interviewed believe that the birth of a child is one of the most significant and joyful events in their lives. So it is - for those who are able to part with the typically masculine delusion that the life of an adult is subject to a certain logic. Please note: there is not the slightest logic in anything related to the birth of a child - it was not at the moment of conception, you should not look for it now.

It is well known that "pregnant" fathers are often visited by various worries, doubts and fears. Nothing surprising. This only indicates the changes taking place in them. Excitability goes off scale, energy is at zero - any man who is able to reason logically and at the same time is not devoid of sensitivity will understand that compromise and understanding should henceforth become the main methods for resolving any issues on the agenda. However, for some, this is not so easy to accept. In any case, you must remember: there is nothing unworthy of a man in expressing his joy about future fatherhood. Moreover, it is in this case that your wife will be able to make sure that you are as excited about her pregnancy as she is.

Perhaps you have already heard from the "experienced guys" remarks like: "You just have to go through this." Nonsense! We will teach you to experience the joy of this process yourself and at the same time understand what is happening to your pregnant wife: after all, she will have to endure much more than you. So get ready to show maximum attention, affection and care.

Until the very moment when you both - accidentally or deliberately - "looked into the gene pool", your wife's hormonal background, most likely, was normal. Now the situation has changed dramatically. During your decisive intercourse, millions of dashing hormones poured into her body. Their task is to create a new chemical balance in a woman's body - or, more precisely, an imbalance that just makes her mood change from good to bad and back in a matter of seconds (all pregnant couples know this state: now she laughs, and the next moment is ready to cry). Hormones are responsible not only for the emotionality of your wife, but also for her sexual temperament. It also depends on them whether by the end of the day she will be completely exhausted or, conversely, extremely energetic. The main culprits of all this commotion are estrogen and progesterone: now they are bombarding your spouse's body more actively than ever. But in the behavior of these ubiquitous "agents of instability" there are also positive aspects: they do everything to ensure that your wife's body is able to nourish a weak fetus.

It is possible that you will be able to cope with the jumps in the mood of your wife caused by hormonal imbalance only by showing truly angelic patience. But the end result is worth all the effort! So the next time your wife goes through another "emotional turn", just try to take her hand, hug or pat her on the shoulder, that is, show her that you understand how difficult it is for her. By doing this, you will contribute a lot to making pregnancy a truly joyful event for both of you. And your wife's gratitude will be truly endless.

FIRST TRIMESTER

You are pregnant

How many pregnancies, so many situations in which men discover that they are pregnant. One father told us about what happened after one day before going to bed, he and his wife deliberately left